Opinion: In cold blood, by Joseph Wilson

Be on the look out for signs of a new plague sweeping the country whose main symptom appears to be an extreme drop in blood temperature. Take the situation of the proud Audi owner who after watching in horror as a 34-year pedestrian dented his beauty's bonnet is now suffering from severe coldbloodiness and felt perfectly legit in asking the pedestrian's family for the tidy sum of €20,000 to pay for the damages to his car caused by the impact with their loved one's, now dead, body. This is just one in a spate of recent cases of ramped bastardliness. Please inform health authorities if you experience urges to sue the relatives of people you have killed accidently or otherwise. (Full story in printed edition).